Chat Jokes please

[snoopdoggie]

What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.

What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old woman doesn't have?
Her navel.

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[OG_funguy]

 

[BigDare88]

 

[BigDare88]

 

[snoopdoggie]

View attachment 113209

Ha ha ha. Yeah, something didn't look normal, until I saw the cat's face. Ha ha ha ha. Too funny.

 

[snoopdoggie]

View attachment 113212

Yes, all very tasty items. But I like my beef well done. Thank you.

You can take the cover off of picture no.4.
I know what's hiding under there.

 

[snoopdoggie]

View attachment 113210

Stay thirsty, my friend.

 

[altaguetta]

 

[cupcrazy]

in case you didn't read the Dr. Tam's thread. ….

 

[BigDare88]

 

[cupcrazy]

I was waiting patiently in the bank today, when the cashier gave this to the man in front. "Young lady, he said. "I don't want to boast, but what am I supposed to do with this? It's far too small for me".
She looked at him, smiled and said "it's to go on your finger when you use the ATM".

@Ursus this one for you.

 

[Bigusdickus]

Important Tax Advice / Economic Stimulus

Sometime this year Jim, we taxpayers will likely receive another economic stimulus.
It is indeed a very exciting program, and I’ll explain it by using a Q&A format:

Q: What is an Economic Stimulus?
A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q: Where will the government get this money?
A: From taxpayers.

Q: Is the government simply giving me back my own money, then?
A: No, only a smidgen of it.

Q: What is the purpose of this payment?
A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition television set, a new iPad, or a
new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.

Q: Isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?
A: Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Canadian Economy with your stimulus check. Use it wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.
* if you spend it on gasoline, it money will go to the Arabs.
* if you purchase a computer, it goes to India, Taiwan or China.
* if you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
* if you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
* if you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.
* if you pay your credit card off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it
offshore.

Instead, keep the money in Canada by:

(1) Spending it at a yard sale or thrift shop, or
(2) Going to a ballgame, or
(3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
(4) Beer, or
(5) Tattoos
(These are the only Canadian businesses still operating here.)

CONCLUSION: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all
day.

No need to thank me, I’m just glad I could be of help.

 

[BigDare88]

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[LauraEdmonton]

What is long and yellow and always points north? A magnetic banana.

 

[snoopdoggie]

What is long and yellow and always points north? A magnetic banana.

View attachment 113287

Ha ha ha ha ha. The fat, juicy banana.
I bet your pussy could devour them, Laura.

 

[snoopdoggie]

A sexy redhead told her blonde stepsister, "I had sex with a Brazilian." The blonde said, "Oh my, how many is a Brazilian?"