Chat Jokes please

[cupcrazy]

 

[Shag]

 

[snoopdoggie]

View attachment 113140

Yes, true. I see your point.

 

[snoopdoggie]

Trump got excited while he was watching a world cup soccer game, when the announcer said that Mexico was going to build a wall.

 

[snoopdoggie]

Afraid of going down.

There was this young couple who have dated since high school, but they have never had sex because the boy's mother always told him that what a woman has between her legs has teeth. For obvious reasons, the boy has always been afraid to venture down there.

They finally marry, and on their wedding night, the young groom walks out of the bathroom to find his new bride dressed in very sexy negligee and lying invitingly on the bed.

She says to him, "Oh hunny, here's the moment we've been waiting for... it's time to consummate our marriage."

He's apparently flustered, and says, "Oh no, I'm not going down there!"

The confused bride asks, "Why not?"

He turned to her and said, "Well what my mother always told me that what a woman has between her legs has teeth."

The bride laughed and said, "That's nonsense; here, let me show you." So, she whips off her negligee, spreads her legs open, and pulls her nether lips apart, saying, "See hunny?...No teeth!"

The groom quickly replies, "Oh my! With gum disease like that, it's no wonder you have no teeth!!"

 

[snoopdoggie]

Free sex with fill-up

A gas station in Mississippi was trying to increase its sales so the owner put up a sign saying "Free sex with fill-up." Soon, a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex.

The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10, if he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.

The buyer then guessed 8, the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time."

A week later, the same redneck, along with a buddy, Bubba, pulled in for a fill-up, again asking for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.

The redneck guessed this time, again the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time."

As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy, "I think that this game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex."

Bubba replied, "No tain't Billy Ray, it's not rigged -- my wife won twice last week."

 

[snoopdoggie]

I dont golf. My stick and balls are handled by lovely ladies at $160 hh

Hockey is better than sex too. If my stick breaks, I skate to the bench and get a new one.

And if I don't score on the first shot, I can still get it in on the rebound attempt.

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[snoopdoggie]

Breaking news:
John Travolta was hospitalized for Covid19, but doctors now confirm that it was "Saturday Night Fever", and they assure that he is "Staying Alive".

Apparently, he had chills that were multiplying.

 

[altaguetta]

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=1086044135128718

 

[BigDare88]

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[cupcrazy]

In case you have a hard time reading it, it said: Life is like a penis. Simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely. Then a woman makes it hard.

 

[cupcrazy]

Trick or treat? Trick, mother fuckers!

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[OG_funguy]

 

[OG_funguy]

 

[OG_funguy]

 

[snoopdoggie]

View attachment 113200

Ha ha ha ha ha

 

[cupcrazy]