Chat YMMV TIPS & SUGGESTIONS

[JAZONLUV]

9/10 is a bless record my guy.

Humour is certainly a good one. I usually jab with a sarcastic joke then turn it into a compliment.

For example, this one time I went into a spa. I told the boss lady to set me up with a sexy ting who does good back walking.

Given, i have been to this particular spa numerous times. I trusted the boss lady would not do me wrong. As she knew my style.

So when the girl walked in. I looked at her with a disappointed look on my face. I was like naw baby girl, I told your boss I wanted a sexy girl. Holy fk the look on her face was priceless. Like she was shook. I’m talking mobb deep shook ones pt.2 LOL!!!! She turned around and just as she was about to exit the room. I grabbed her ever so gently looked her dead in the eyes and told her I’m just kidding ma you’re super sexy. I started lol’ing hard. She slapped my arm and giggled. The session was bless my guy. I’m talking church on Sunday bless yo. Holy!!!!

So yes, to your point humour goes a long way . Respect

Breh

 

[JAZONLUV]

Trust me. It's best to take another shower at the spa. Just run the water and wet yourself a little . That gives them peace of mind. I used to hang out at QQ alot and almost all the girls at QQ won't see guys who don't take shower before the session. Vice versa, I will never go to a spa where the girls never take shower after the slides. No shower in the rooms, no go for me. I have to see or know the girl she just took shower before the session.

I be WATCHING that monitor man and your better clean that mouth before kissing ANY PART of me. I know what's up

 

[Bustanut]

Give her compliments. And not idiotic or sleazy ones like "bitch, you look fine", or "are you into agriculture, cause these melons on you... daaaaamn" Nono.

Walk with a straight back. Speak confidently, be chill and friendly and don't mumble. That way, not only will you get an extra cherry on top during your sessions, you're also running a minimal risk being scammed and overcharged.

And yes, making them laugh goes a long way. One time I made an MPA laugh so hard, a tiny squirt came out. So there, got a tad bit extra mileage for myself.

Haha!!!! Love it!!!! Totally agree, as some of these ladies have a hard time understanding. “Why he say bitch” “agriculture “ They just smile when they don’t know.

So yes, great articulation in the message, proper choice of words, good posture and confidence.

A tiny squirt is always welcomed . Salute .

 

[derekgbob1980]

Haha!!!! Love it!!!! Totally agree, as some of these ladies have a hard time understanding. “Why he say bitch” “agriculture “ They just smile when they don’t know.

So yes, great articulation in the message, proper choice of words, good posture and confidence.

A tiny squirt is always welcomed . Salute .

I agree with all the tips in the OP. However, I've seen some gross dudes get hounded by MPA's because they tip heavy. I saw one guy that was a clean 300+ lbs and I could smell him down the hallways. 3 girls walked into the room with him kissing and hugging him. He was a customer because I saw him come out of a Porsche outside. As much as its important you go in clean and smelling good, $$$ speaks louder than anything else in this business.

 

[startbeforeIfinish]

I agree with all the tips in the OP. However, I've seen some gross dudes get hounded by MPA's because they tip heavy. I saw one guy that was a clean 300+ lbs and I could smell him down the hallways. 3 girls walked into the room with him kissing and hugging him. He was a customer because I saw him come out of a Porsche outside. As much as its important you go in clean and smelling good, $$$ speaks louder than anything else in this business.

Tipping heavy can be good.If they can get away with it they take your tip and give you nothing .I'm very guilty of adding $40 on top for a suckers bet. Depends on the girl I guess.

 

[Lombo]

I agree with all the tips in the OP. However, I've seen some gross dudes get hounded by MPA's because they tip heavy. I saw one guy that was a clean 300+ lbs and I could smell him down the hallways. 3 girls walked into the room with him kissing and hugging him. He was a customer because I saw him come out of a Porsche outside. As much as its important you go in clean and smelling good, $$$ speaks louder than anything else in this business.

Which spa was this?

 

[not impressed]

I agree with all the tips in the OP. However, I've seen some gross dudes get hounded by MPA's because they tip heavy. I saw one guy that was a clean 300+ lbs and I could smell him down the hallways. 3 girls walked into the room with him kissing and hugging him. He was a customer because I saw him come out of a Porsche outside. As much as its important you go in clean and smelling good, $$$ speaks louder than anything else in this business.

300 lbs getting out of a Porsche.. fuck ! The dealership should be held accountable.. this is blasphemy… No morals when it comes to car sales lately…WTF

 

[startbeforeIfinish]

I've been coming to a couple spas with about 10 girls, two very regular for a year. Some of my times were quite wild and I like that. However I get alot of good blowjobs now and am yet to get one at a spa. I was a ranking member of a gang in my day that ran hookers and our girls could suck the paint off a hubcap and do it while you were cumming which is a good thing. I was starting to get a complex until I looked elsewhere. I don"t feel good about inventing a new religion to get laid. You pay your ticket you get the ride. It's a bit of a scam but what do I know. Not that I don't always try to be very decent.

 

[Dunebasher69]

YMMV

Alright so there's been a lot of banter lately about YMMV. So i figured why not make a post. Some people get a lot, some people get next to nothing. Here's my tips over the years that have got me extra mileage. A lot of which I did not ask for as it happened organically. Either by me going in instigating the action or the mpa just doing it.

1) BE IN SHAPE

Guys, there's no excuse for being fat and out of shape. I've said this a million times on here. Being in great shape gets you extra play all day everyday. I would go as far to say that 90% of the time an mpa is shocked when my shirt comes off. It's like she's never seen a well sculpted body before. I'm talking eyes popping out of her head. This tells me that the majority of the guys going into spas are not in shape. I'm a little older now but i train a lot. It's part of my daily regime. It should part of yours too, not just for this hobby but for life in general. If you guys lack motivation, or need an extra push. Workout with a friend or hire a trainer. I've always been a gym rat since i was young. In my case now, i have this young lad who works for me. He is in insane shape as he workouts like crazy. We train together and push each other every time at the gym.

Let's be honest, no guy wants a fat lard ass mpa. In retrospect no mpa wants a fat lard ass mandem. That's just fkn gross all around. There's a lot of things we can't control, like our height, aging etc but you can control your weight. Having a fit body is the ultimate sign of self respect.

2) HYGIENE

Yes, fkn hygiene. When you guys go to a spa, shower right before you go. I'm talking right before, like shower and head straight to the spa right after. I don't like to shower at spas before a session. The reason for this is that, I don't like their cheap ass soap. A lot of the spas don't even have body lotion for crying out loud. So i use the quality stuff i have at home before i head out. I only shower after sessions at the spa and even then the idea of how many people being in there just fkn grosses me the fk out.

Brush your mother fkn teeth before a session. Holy fk, i can't even believe i have to say this one. You know how many girls i've spoken to over the years who have said so many guys they see have bad breath. Brush, , use mouth wash and chew a piece of gum on your way to the spa. I don't recommend flossing for those of you who like to go down on a chick for obvious reasons.

Spray a good cologne. None of this shoppers drug mart cheap ass shit. The good shit. This hobby is expensive so invest in a good cologne. I like creed aventus, baccarat rouge 540, and le labo te matcha just to name a few. Don't fkn over spray, two or three sprays max.

Groom yourself. If you're a hairy ass chewbacca mother fker get the manscape trimmer and get to work. You don't have to go zero guard. For those of you who have small dicks leave enough hair so your dick seems bigger. LOL!!!... but don't leave too much where the mpa has to go searching for moby.

For those of you who have been blessed with the monster anaconda a light trim will do.

Come well put together. I'm not saying shirt and tie type of shit. I'm just saying don't look fkn sloppy. The girls don't look sloppy so neither should you.

Most of these girls if not all ,are super clean and ready to go. You owe to them and yourself to be just as clean.

3) BE POLITE

I know these girls are sex workers and its easy to look at them like fkn hoes and treat them like one. If you want the gfe experience then treat them like one in the room. What i mean by this is be nice. Lead with your body slow and sensually. Build up to the experience you want. In a car you don't skp from 1st gear to 5th. So same applies here. If you go too fast and the mpa pulls back take it down a notch. You want the mpa to be comfortable with you. Build rapport with the mpa. The more comfortable she is with you, the more she will do.

4) TIP WELL

If the service is good tip well. If the session was basic then give the standard. Some of you guys are so fkn cheap. I'm not saying tip a ton, though some guys do. You'll' be surprised how much an extra 5,10 or 20 goes on top of market rate. This goes a long way and the girl will remember that on your next visit.

I remember one chick i got a bs from. I had 4 twenties and a 5 in my wallet. I figured wth might as well just give it to her. I gave it to her and her smile lit up like crazy. Like she was so fkn happy over 5 Fkn bucks. It felt good to do that gesture and see her reaction. Totally worth the 5 bucks.

5) GO EARLY

If your schedule allows, you go fkn early. The mpas have more energy for a better massage and are more enthusiastic earlier in the day. Avoid going at late hours if you can because near the end of the day they are just tired and waiting to go home.

One time i went to a spa at 7:30 to check one of the girls on my rotation. Yo she was tired AF!!!! She literally went through 11 guys. She kept yawning and her massage was lacking serious power. It was pure shiatsu soft bullshit. I came for deep tissue bitch..lol. Anyway I cut the bullshit massage short , we ended up naked, cuddling and making out. After 15 mins she passed out ...LOLOLOLOL! Dumb bitch..kidding!! She was exhausted. I mean i can't complain as it was serious dfk but i came for the massage. She said i didn't have to tip her. I still tried to give her $50 bucks for the half hour but she refused and said next time. I went to the boss after and told her i don't think it’s a good idea for these chicks to see that many guys. The boss bitch said sorry and gave me an extra bottle of water. .Like what the fk am i gonna do with 2 bottles of water bitch LOL!!!

The service just lacks after a certain number of guys the mpa goes through. I mean imagine an mpa wacking off 11 fkn dicks...wtf!!! Go early!!!

5) DO YOUR RESEARCH

There's a lot of information out there on who provides what. A lot of you guys may be looking for a great massage, a great tease, a fantastic body slide etc. Do the research and ask credible sources, watch out for the shills though. There's a ton of them on here.

If anyone would like to add suggestions or have stories to add regarding mileage pls reply. I would love to hear them.

I'm on the senior side of life, a bit overweight but I still get reasonable mileage ... why? Because I do all the things that Bustanut says... it isn't rocket science, just great advice that costs nothing, but reaps substantial rewards. Thanks for putting this out there, I'm sure many MPA's will appreciate anyone taking your suggestions on board.

 

[William tell]

Skip cologne. Simply be clean. Soap is usually sufficient.

Humour is important but few people actually have a good sense of humour. Previous comments in this thread prove that.

 

[startbeforeIfinish]

I might say especially at first my girls like it if I bring a bunch of cool tattoos and a six pack.

 

[Bustanut]

Great post. I shower at home right before too, make sure to soap up all the ball sack, ass crack and every thing else. I been asked if I want to take a shower before session and I go up close to them and say I showered at home, do you want me to take another one? All times I see the mpa smell me and smile and say oh no you smell great.

Thank you brother .

Attention to detail when cleaning is a must. Especially in those sacred parts of the male body which you mentioned. I strongly agree with you .

That’s a great feeling when the mpa can smell you and appreciate it.

 

[Flatulent Fox]

I agree with pretty much everything said here. I'll add that some of these things can make up for issues in other areas. I'm an older brown guy, average looking with a dad bod but not overweight. IMO I punch above my weight when it comes to mileage because I take care of my hygiene/grooming and I have a good sense of humour. If you make her laugh so hard that she snorts or farts, you're in there!

One thing that hasn't been mentioned yet is skin care. You need to moisturize boys! Especially during these cold/dry ass winters. I can't tell you how many times I've been complimented on how soft and smooth my hands/lips/back are. One time an MPA just laid across my back and hugged me like I was a bearskin rug.

 

[Bustanut]

Very well said.

Keep yourself fit and in shape, No girls want to be with a guy so out of shape with big belly ready to explode.

Hygiene is the most complaints I heard from the girls. It's best to take shower at the spa before the session. That makes the girls feel better knowing she won't be rubbing with a smelly dirty guy. I always tell the guys to take a shower if you want the girls play better. Guys with bad breath and blue cheese smell are a big turn off to the girls.

Be kind, gentle , generous and respect the girls. Bargaining $10 -20 is a big turn off for the girls. The way i approach if the girls talk about tips is...Don't worry about tips, if you get naked and shower with me before the session, my minimum tip is 100 bucks. And if you make me happy, I will make you very very happy. It works every time. Trying to save $10-20 and going home disappointed is the most stupid thing I have seen lots of time.

Pls remember these sayings......A kind person always looks beautiful in a lady's eyes. And...if you know how to make a girl laughs, you can make her do anything.

Well well well, if it ain’t the golf master himself . I envy the rounds on the golf course you play with the fine fit ladies. Keep it up.

Thank you brother, I try and share as much information as I can with the hobbyists. In hopes of each and everyone one of them having a better experience at the spa.

Totally agree with the big belly assessment. I always wonder how the big belly guys get a proper bs? The mpas have to probably pull some gold medal gymnastics moves to make it work.

Girls certainly play better with a fresh and clean dude.

Blue cheese smell? What the fk ? lol that’s a new one. Haha! Glad I don’t like blue cheese.

You got to be kidding me? Guys actually bargain ? Wtf? Those guys should not be in the game.

Respect with the feedback and i will certainly keep those saying in mind.

Edit ****forgot to add maybe ban those bargain dudes and refer them to church and Jarvis for the crack hoes***

 

[Pay2Play]

This thread is like a bunch of lonely housewives trading beauty secrets.

 

[Sybarite]

Even if you shower thoroughly at home, you are definitely risking the lower end of YMMV if you don't also shower on site. Perception is reality.

In general, being kind, enthusiastic, respectful and generous can counteract a lot of other client negatives.

 

[startbeforeIfinish]

This thread is like a bunch of lonely housewives trading beauty secrets.

This would be a more appropriate conversation if we weren't actually paying for it. You pay your ticket you should get your ride. Wokeass world.

 

[Bustanut]

I don't think these girls can go that hard for more than two or three guys a day (some can but alot can't). Other factors are are you regular material or a promoter and such. There are factors too that could be out of ones control. That's my limited experience.

Great feedback! Thats why I say go early. I have definitely experienced top notch service being the first guy, if not one of the first. In general I don’t like the idea that the mpa has seen multiple guys before me.

I do believe such is this the case with being a regular or being a promoter. Extra play comes with this as well.

 

[Bustanut]

Another suggestion is to show enjoyment and appreciation of the massage. Let out a little moan and say that feels good. Appreciation helps

I never tried letting a moan out but yo first time for everything. I’ll give it a shot . Thanks for the suggestion.

 

[krayjee]

Great feedback! Thats why I say go early. I have definitely experienced top notch service being the first guy, if not one of the first. In general I don’t like the idea that the mpa has seen multiple guys before me.

I do believe such is this the case with being a regular or being a promoter. Extra play comes with this as well.

You all got it wrong there and you guys don't know what you're missing out in semi legit world. I always book my girl as last appointment. That's the time the girl was feeling a bit tired but relaxed knowing I was the last customer. You chit chat a bit asking how was her day, give her a little massage, tell her what she wanted to hear ( not what's right and what's wrong) and make her feel comfortable, throw in a little jokes, make her laugh. Everybody already went home, only you and her there. .The rest was a piece of cake and she doesn't care about going over the time and all. If she doesn't have a car, you drive her home and you become the nicest guy in her heart.