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Tomken Bohemian: Bad Idea Jeans

pink smiling

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Sep 11, 2009
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Remember the old 90's SNL fake commercial for Bad Idea Jeans?

"I was going to use protection, but then I thought 'When will I ever be in Haiti again?'...

- Bad Idea"

Well, I had a Bad Idea myself yesterday. Following a long lunch with a few pops, I found myself in mid-Mississauga with a free hour to kill and feeling a little randy. Being a little to far from Allure and not really knowing the area, I did a quick google on my phone and found Tomken Bohemian Spa nearby.

I walked in and immediately was greeted by a very friendly, black woman named Kim. She pointed to 'Camilla' (heavy blond EE with bad hair) and said "she's up". Rather than turn around and walk out (which is what I should have done) I said "Can I take you?" and so Kim lead me into a room.

Being slightly buzzed and really wanting a massage (actual massage with a happy ending) instead of paying for a BS I was going to go for a Nude - until I let myself get upsold to a NR for $100.

First indications that this was not Allure: dimly lit room, completely dark shower with a shower head that sprayed in all directions, and decor that had not been updated or even mainained well in recent history.

Kim came back in and started to massage me. It wasn't half bad for the 5 minutes or so that she did my back but I really wanted some attention to the tons of knots back there and so I asked her to massage harder and she responded "I don't want to hurt you". Uhhh, how about rub a little harder and I'll let you know if its uncomfortable rather than just refuse. Then she undressed and moved to my legs and butt, which felt nice but lasted maybe 2-3 minutes. Some light teasing and then told me to switch places. I was not into it, as she was thicker than I like and I don't get off on fondling someone I'm not attracted to. She was more into it than I was at this point! As she started playing with junior I then told her that I wanted some more massage time before we got to the ending. We switched places again and she gave some more teasing and got me up on my hands and knees for a little stroking. Finally she told me to flip over and said I had about 2 minutes left. Now, I know that I had been in the room with her for a maximum of 15 minutes, but I didn't particularly enjoy the time so far, so I didn't argue. She gave me a very nice hand release (I let it go fast rather than try to max my time) and then, as she's about to clean me up with a towel, we hear the ringer go off in the front room and she runs out of the room stark naked to get the door! Now, if this had been the end of some killer BS with a hot, hard body girl that I was really into, I'd have been steamed that I was being left in-session so my attendant could go let in another customer. Instead, I was kind of glad to just shower up and get dressed!

She came back in to dress herself, complained about the owner and how they just took money from the place and never fixed anything or invested in the facilities, and then told me I looked nice and hadn't she seen me in there before? Certainly not I explained, I've never been here (and to myself I added 'absolutely, positively, never will return!').

I will give Kim this - she was very nice, could joke a little bit, and didn't overdo any fake moans or anything like that. However, physically she was not my cup of tea at all, and didn't exactly seem too concerned with listening to customer direction.

If you're into bigger women and dank, poorly maintained facilities, then by all means visit Tomken Bohemian. However, if you'd like the same price range and the exact opposite experience, never stray from the higher end spas (Allure, SRM).

At least I know to never, ever, stray again!

Room 5/10
Attendant Body 6/10
Massage 6/10
Attendant Face 6/10
Release 7/10
Service 4/10
 
I've had a couple sessions with Kim and she's not bad. She has an amazing ass for Italian.
 
I would agree with that - her butt made up 5 of the 6 points I gave her body. Again, Kim was really nice and sweet - but this place is just not in the upper echelon and overall just didn't do it for me. For the same money, there are way nicer places to go.
 
Shoutbox
  1. SunriseRH:
    SATURDAY at SUNRISE SPA: MIA, MICHELLE & SUMMER. 10 East Wilmot St, Unit 27, Richmond Hill, on ☎️ 647-325-8086 ☎️ MIA is a young Vietnamese beauty with the looks and the skills. MICHELLE is a young, curvaceous beauty, 5’2” & 130Lbs, 37DDD-31-41, a trim waist, and a nice butt. Come and be pampered. SUMMER is a sweet Asian babe, 5’3” with a captivating 36D-28-39 figure,
  2. ForeverWarden:
    Saturday at 🫦❤️🔴🟥♾️𝓕𝓞𝓡𝓔𝓥𝓔𝓡 𝓢𝓟𝓐♾️🟥🔴❤️🫦 2190 Warden Ave, Unit 201, Scarborough 𝟰𝟭𝟲-𝟴𝟬𝟬-𝟳𝟴𝟴𝟳: Cindy, Misaki & Tracy, Cindy is a slim beauty, 5’4”, natural C Cups & wonderfully long nipples. Her massage is nice, her bbbj will drive you wild & her cfs finish is a dream come true. Misaki is a young and beautiful real Japanese girl with natural 34DD Cups and a great body. She is open to bbbj, dfk and cfs
  3. NewOriental:
    SATURDAY at 🍏💚NEW ORIENTAL SPA💚🍏: HAPPY, LULU & PHOENIX. 10 East Wilmot St, Unit 26, Richmond Hill, on ☎️ 647-381-2688 ☎️ HAPPY is a slim Korean lady with great massage skills & lots of extra fun. LULU is a friendly and very sexy Vietnamese girl. She is a lot of fun, and can be wild at times. PHOENIX is a gentle sweet Filipina lady, 5’4” and 105Lbs, with 34C-24-34 assets
  4. Annie Spa:
    🎉🍒ANNIE SPA🎉🍒 ✅7-1001 SANDHURST CIRCLE✅ 👌SCARBOROUGH ON M1V 1Z6👌 ☎️(437) 818-8896☎️ ☎️(416) 291-8879☎️ (FINCH & MCCOWAN) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅NEW MANAGEMENT💯NEW GIRLS🔥🔥 🔥GORGEOUS NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS - TODAY’s ROSTER INCLUDES: 🔥 Ivy ❤️ is new girl in our branch, shy and sweet but also very vocal and needy, she demands your happiness and satisfaction. Slim body, supple soft breasts with long nipples and a toned bum bum will have you intoxicated by Ivy’s good looks
  5. HolidaySpa:
    Saturday at 🌴😎🌅𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓲𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝓢𝓹𝓪🌅😎🌴3517 Kennedy Rd, Unit 4, Scarborough ☎️𝟰𝟯𝟳-𝟮𝟰𝟳-𝟭𝟭𝟵𝟵☎️Lucy & Maggie. Lucy is a beautiful and slim Asian lady with a happy disposition and great services. Maggie is a slim and very sexy Korean lady, very pretty and accommodating. Come and try, you will like.
  6. Sparkling Spa:
    YOUNG GIRLS SUMMER AND FOX WAITING TO BLOW YOU AWAY @ SPARKLING SPA: JAP SENSATION CHANEL AND SASSY JENNIFER READY TO KNOCK YOU OUT ☎️(905) 604-8186 Spa Land Line☎️ ☎️(437) 446-6688 NEW Spa Cell Phone 50 LOCKRIDGE AVE UNIT#8 NO SPA LIKE US ANYWHERE NEAR US
  7. bumika.vashi:
    (((आपको बिना नाटक या नखरे करने वाला सर्विस चाहे तोह याद करना. ))) If you want Service without Drama or Tantrums, Remember it. Will Try To Give You The Best Possible Sweating Experience With Full Company. TAKE MY WORD.?? Don't Waste Your Time And Money In Some Other Place Where You are Really Upset Loosing Out Both Money And Fun. Ok Try With Our Girls Once Then Your Visit Will Be Regular To Me.... _________________N O T E_________________ If u like my services Please Please Do not forget to
  8. Bellagio Wellness &Spa:
    💗💗💗 ℍ𝔸ℙℙ𝕐 𝕄𝔸𝕐 💗💗💗🌟🌟🌟 MAY 4th , SATURDAY 🌟🌟🌟 ☎️ (905) 707-6866 🕙🌟🌟🌟Open 10:30-10:00🗺#33-160 East Beaver Creek 🗺 7 Rms 🛏🌟🌟🌟Table Shower(TS)+Massage 2hr $120*,TS & massage 1hr $90, 🌟🌟🌟$40/50/60 for 30/45/60min 🌟🌟🌟Attendants: We have 4️⃣ today 🍀🍀🍀 🌹🆕 DAISY 🌹LILIAN 🌹🆕 TINA 🌹 🆕 NAT 🍀🍀🍀 NEWSFLASH 🍀🍀🍀 🆕 TINA & 🆕 NAT & 🆕 DAISY & LILIAN ‘ s BACK 🍀🍀🍀 TODAY 🍀🍀🍀
  9. Montreal 1969:
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  10. Lulu1980:
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  11. Aufan Spa:
    ❤️ SOFIE, ANGELA and MIMI are here today for your massage needs ❤️ AUFAN SPA ❤️ 635 PHARMACY ❤️ Scarborough ❤️ M1L 3H3 ❤️ (647) 557-1407❤️
  12. Endless Joy Spa:
    ✨✨✨✨✨[GRAND OPENING]✨✨✨✨✨ 💞Endless Joy Spa💞 🎇 (155 East Beaver Creek Rd Unit #8, Richmond Hill) 416-731-8565🎇, Slim Sexy Chinese Kiki, Slim Petite Chinese Suki, Tall Slim Sexy Chinese Kelly, Young CBC Rachel
  13. hiyamickey:
    7 young petite sexy girls working @Reynaella wellness Address: 3555 14th Ave unit #7 Markham ☎️:905-470-8082
  14. bnwellness_wilson:
    Blue Nile Wellness Center, We have 4 young beautiful girls are working today, young sweet cute Summer and young pretty fun Sally, young cute open mind Tina and beautiful GFE Lina are providing deep tissue and sensual massage, pls call 416-3985777 book appointment and walk in always welcome, back entrance and parking available,350 Wilson Ave North
  15. Moon&beauty:
    MoonMoon/416 887 8801/8131Yonge st # 203 /new Asian girl Yuki &Persian girl Jasmine today
  16. SunriseRH:
    FRIDAY at SUNRISE SPA: HAPPY & MICHELLE. 10 East Wilmot St, Unit 27, Richmond Hill, on ☎️ 647-325-8086 ☎️ HAPPY is a slim Korean attendant with great massage and other skills. MICHELLE is a young, curvaceous beauty, 5’2” & 130Lbs, 37DDD-31-41, a trim waist, and a nice butt. Come and be pampered.
  17. Jenny’s Spa:
    🎉🍒JENNY’S SPA🎉🍒 ✅5170 DUNDAS STREET WEST✅ 👌ETOBICOKE ONTARIO M9A 1C4👌 ☎️(647-893-5196)☎️Call or Text ☎️(437-888-3759)☎️Call Only (ETOBICOKE) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅GRAND OPENING💯NEW GIRLS EVERYDAY🔥EXCELLENT MASSAGE + SERVICE QUEENS NOW AVAILABLE AT JENNY’S SPA FOR ALL YOUR MASSAGE AND SPECIAL EXTRA NEEDS🔥💯😘🔥❤️👌 🔥TWO BEAUTIFUL NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS EVERYDAY🔥REAL PICTURES OF ATTENDANTS💯💯💯 - TODAY’s ROSTER INCLUDES: 🔥 Anna😘- A stunning sexy girl from Hong Kong
  18. NewOriental:
    FRIDAY at 🍏💚NEW ORIENTAL SPA💚🍏: LULU & PHOENIX. 10 East Wilmot St, Unit 26, Richmond Hill, on ☎️ 647-381-2688 ☎️ LULU is a friendly and very sexy Vietnamese girl. She is a lot of fun, and can be wild at times. PHOENIX is a gentle sweet Filipina lady, 5’4” and 105Lbs, with 34C-24-34 assets and very open minded.
  19. Moneylee:
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  20. Annie Spa:
    🎉🍒ANNIE SPA🎉🍒 ✅7-1001 SANDHURST CIRCLE✅ 👌SCARBOROUGH ON M1V 1Z6👌 ☎️(437) 818-8896☎️ ☎️(416) 291-8879☎️ (FINCH & MCCOWAN) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅NEW MANAGEMENT💯NEW GIRLS🔥🔥 🔥GORGEOUS NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS - TODAY’s ROSTER INCLUDES: 🔥 Bella 😘 is a beautiful Vietnamese busty girl, very sexy, with RMT style massage and very good playful service. So friendly, and nice. Summer ❤️ has nice sexy body, and nice breasts. She can give very good massage and fun service.
  21. Moneylee:
    Full season wellness center: New Young girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament big boobs Cici , Young girl pretty face big boobs nice figure deep massage Jessica ,Young girl Big-breasted big Big boobs big butts May, Young beautiful face sexy body and good deep massage Maggie,Enchanting sexy petite deep massage Mary . 🏠 2560 Shepard Ave Mississauga unit 1 ☎️ 4379857899 👄👄🦵🦵🈵🈵👅👅
  22. Lily Spa:
    ❤️ SANA, CAMILLA, SARIKA and KK are here today for your massage needs ❤️ Lily Spa ❤️ 2190 McNicoll ❤️ Scarborough ❤️ M1V 5M2 ❤️ (647) 531-8288 ❤️
  23. Lulu1980:
    Phoenix blossom Spa ♨️♨️♨️5124 Dundas W Etobicoke ☎️416-817 3366🌹🌹🌹table shower 🚿 body scrub 😘😘😘😘Mia sexy body good service Cici nice girl Deep tissue massage
  24. Dreaminn:
    FRIDAY at 💭DREAM INN WELLNESS SPA💭: *NEW GIRL HONEY, KELLY, & LULU. 10225 Yonge St (North of Major Mackenzie), Richmond Hill, ON ☎️ 647-829-2983 ☎️ HONEY (*NEW TODAY) is a beautiful slim Asian lady with an ample bosom, slightly curvy with a great ass. Her services are highly sought after. KELLY is a young & pretty Asian girl, very slim, 5’3” with very liberal services.
  25. Peony Garden Spa:
    🌸2 GIRLS AVAILABLE TODAY 🌸 JENNY: A TALL AND SLIM KOREAN GIRL THAT IS A TOTAL SERVICE QUEEN 🌸 ELLA: A PETITE YOUNG CHINESE GIRL THAT IS A POPULAR FAVOURITE 🌸 PEONY GARDEN SPA 🌸 3477 KENNEDY ROAD UNIT 4 🌸 (416) 335-6093 🌸
  26. GoldenFlower:
    FRIDAY at 💛⭐🌟🌻 GOLDEN FLOWER SPA🌻 🌟⭐💛, 8380 Kennedy Rd, Unit C6 (Kennedy & Hwy 7), Markham, ON 905-258-0777: Kelly, Linda, Monica & Sonia. Arriving after 9pm: Jojo Kelly is slim and pretty with very good services. Linda is a pretty Vietnamese cutie with nice melons, curvy ass, and great services. Monica is sweet, attractive and accommodating.
  27. ASPA:
    𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗗𝗔𝗬 𝗮𝘁 𝗔 𝗦𝗣𝗔: 𝗔𝗺𝘆 & 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗥𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗹 🅰️𝐀 𝐒𝐏𝐀🅰️, 28 South Unionville Ave, Unit 5, Markham. 🅰️𝗖𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟳𝟮𝟵-𝟲𝟲𝟬𝟲 𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟴𝟯𝟵-𝟱𝟵𝟲𝟲🅰️ AMY is young and very friendly, standing 158 Cms. with 34C Cups and a very nice bum. Amy is a very popular student, young, sexy, and open minded. She is in demand for her good massage
  28. HolidaySpa:
    Friday at 🌴😎🌅𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓲𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝓢𝓹𝓪🌅😎🌴3517 Kennedy Rd, Unit 4, Scarborough ☎️𝟰𝟯𝟳-𝟮𝟰𝟳-𝟭𝟭𝟵𝟵☎️Cindy & Lina CINDY is a slim & incredibly sexy lady with a smile that will melt your heart, & an ass that will fire up your spirit. Her services are among the best! Lina is very well known for her great services and her impressive shapely ass. Come and see why! You will be glad you did.
  29. ForeverWarden:
    Friday at 🫦❤️🔴🟥♾️𝓕𝓞𝓡𝓔𝓥𝓔𝓡 𝓢𝓟𝓐♾️🟥🔴❤️🫦 2190 Warden Ave, Unit 201, Scarborough 𝟰𝟭𝟲-𝟴𝟬𝟬-𝟳𝟴𝟴𝟳: Cindy, Mia, Nana & Sasa. Cindy is a slim beauty, 5’4”, natural C Cups & wonderfully long nipples. Her massage is nice, her bbbj will drive you wild & her cfs finish is a dream come true. Mia is a Caribbean service queen temptress with incredible curves. She can bbbj like a queen, & is open to dfk & cfs.
  30. Sparkling Spa:
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  31. Bellagio Wellness &Spa:
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  32. bumika.vashi:
    (((आपको बिना नाटक या नखरे करने वाला सर्विस चाहे तोह याद करना. ))) If you want Service without Drama or Tantrums, Remember it. Will Try To Give You The Best Possible Sweating Experience With Full Company. TAKE MY WORD.?? Don't Waste Your Time And Money In Some Other Place Where You are Really Upset Loosing Out Both Money And Fun. Ok Try With Our Girls Once Then Your Visit Will Be Regular To Me.... _________________N O T E_________________ If u like my services Please Please Do not forget to
  33. Selkirk:
    For the most part, amps are very sketchy.
  34. Sparkling Spa:
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  35. K96akhil:
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  36. Red Rose Spa:
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  37. Lily Spa:
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  38. Lulu1980:
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  39. Jenny’s Spa:
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  40. Sparkling Spa:
    HOT YOUNG GIRLS WAITING FOR BLOW YOU AWAY @ SPARKLING SPA: MUI CALIENTE STELLA AND SCHOOL GIRL SELENA (NEW!!) ☎️(905) 604-8186 Spa Land Line☎️ ☎️(437) 446-6688 NEW Spa Cell Phone 50 LOCKRIDGE AVE UNIT#8 NO SPA LIKE US ANYWHERE NEAR US
  41. Dreaminn:
    THURSDAY at 💭DREAM INN WELLNESS SPA💭: HELEN, KELLY & VIVI. 10225 Yonge St (North of Major Mackenzie), Richmond Hill, ON ☎️ 647-829-2983 ☎️ HELEN is a slim & sexy Asian beauty. Some say Helen bears a resemblance to the previous Purple Sugar boss Nana. KELLY is a young & pretty Asian girl, very slim, 5’3” with very liberal services. VIVI is a very cute
  42. Moneylee:
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  43. Moneylee:
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  44. Annie Spa:
    🎉🍒ANNIE SPA🎉🍒 ✅7-1001 SANDHURST CIRCLE✅ 👌SCARBOROUGH ON M1V 1Z6👌 ☎️(437) 818-8896☎️ ☎️(416) 291-8879☎️ (FINCH & MCCOWAN) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅NEW MANAGEMENT💯NEW GIRLS🔥🔥 🔥GORGEOUS NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS - TODAY’s ROSTER INCLUDES: 🔥 Cici😘A very beautiful and sexy little fangirl, she has a sexy and petite figure, Cici service is first-class, worth having and trying, she belongs to the elite👍She is very friendly, very cute and exquisite little model!!🥰 Suki😍is bea
  45. NewOriental:
    THURSDAY at 🍏💚NEW ORIENTAL SPA💚🍏: HAPPY, LULU & PHOENIX. 10 East Wilmot St, Unit 26, Richmond Hill, on ☎️ 647-381-2688 ☎️ HAPPY is a slim Korean lady with great massage skills & lots of extra fun. LULU is a friendly and very sexy Vietnamese girl. She is a lot of fun, and can be wild at times. PHOENIX is a gentle sweet Filipina lady, 5’4” and 105Lbs, with 34C-24-34 assets
  46. bnwellness_wilson:
    Blue Nile Wellness Center, We have 4 young beautiful girls are working today, young sweet cute Japanese Lily and young pretty fun Sally, young cute open mind Ivy and beautiful GFE Ella are providing deep tissue and sensual massage, pls call 416-3985777 book appointment and walk in always welcome, back entrance and parking available,350 Wilson Ave North
  47. Moon&beauty:
    MoonMoon spa/ 416 887 8801/8131Yonge st #203 Cuban girl Mimi and Asian girl (new) Yuki in today
  48. SunriseRH:
    THURSDAY at SUNRISE SPA: MICHELLE, SUMMER & TIANA. 10 East Wilmot St, Unit 27, Richmond Hill, on ☎️ 647-325-8086 ☎️ MICHELLE is a young, curvaceous beauty, 5’2” & 130Lbs, 37DDD-31-41, a trim waist, and a nice butt. Come and be pampered. SUMMER is a sweet Asian babe, 5’3” with a captivating 36D-28-39 figure, weighing 108 pounds. Summer has very good massage & services.
  49. Endless Joy Spa:
    ✨✨✨✨✨[GRAND OPENING]✨✨✨✨✨ 💞Endless Joy Spa💞 🎇 (155 East Beaver Creek Rd Unit #8, Richmond Hill) 416-731-8565🎇New 2nd Day Yong Sexy Curvy Latina Karen, Slim Sexy Chinese Kiki, Slim Petite Chinese Suki, Tall Slim Sexy Chinese Kelly, Young CBC Rachel
  50. GoldenFlower:
    THURSDAY at 💛⭐🌟🌻 GOLDEN FLOWER SPA🌻 🌟⭐💛, 8380 Kennedy Rd, Unit C6 (Kennedy & Hwy 7), Markham, ON 905-258-0777: Jojo, Mimi(to 8pm), Monica & Sherry. After 8pm: Sonia. 10am-8pm: Jojo is a beautiful young fair skinned Hong Kong girl who can melt all your cares away. Mimi is young honey who can rock your world. Monica is sweet, attractive and accommodating.
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