Police Are Hunting A Man Who Stole A 3 Foot, 40 Lbs Dildo From A Sex Shop

[cupcrazy]

A cockyburglar is on the loose in Las Vegas after stealing a 3 foot (36 inch), 40lbs dildo from the Deja Vu Love Boutique last week and doing so in the most casual manner possible. What a legend!
CCTV footage shows the suspect simply walk into the store, sling the massive sex toy over his shoulder, and walk out with it: haha


According to the police report, the man packed the giant dildo – named Moby Dick – into a white car, similar to a Dodge Caliber, and made a clean getaway. No way of knowing if he stole the item for personal use or if he’s looking to move it on, but the latter option would be fairly lucrative as Moby goes for a cool £1,000 retail. Whoa.

The most amazing part of course isn’t that this man stole a 3 foot tall dildo, it’s the Ocean’s 11 style cool factor with which he pulled it off. Obviously having a face mask on at a time where everyone else on the planet is wearing one is a great way to not arouse any suspicion, and to be fair this is Las Vegas we’re talking about so there’s a good chance he wasn’t the only person walking around with a giant dildo draped over his shoulder either. It’s the perfect crime!
I don’t know what other leads the police could possibly work with here but I reckon keep an eye on the local hospitals because there’s no doubt that thing can do some serious damage. It’s just a matter of whether this cockyburglar’s curiosity gets the better of him.


Police Are Hunting A Man Who Stole A 3 Foot, 40 Lbs Dildo From A Sex Shop (kaoticarchive.blogspot.com)

 

[Nrsytd]

What a dick!

 

[snoopdoggie]

A cockyburglar is on the loose in Las Vegas after stealing a 3 foot (36 inch), 40lbs dildo from the Deja Vu Love Boutique last week and doing so in the most casual manner possible. What a legend!
CCTV footage shows the suspect simply walk into the store, sling the massive sex toy over his shoulder, and walk out with it: haha


According to the police report, the man packed the giant dildo – named Moby Dick – into a white car, similar to a Dodge Caliber, and made a clean getaway. No way of knowing if he stole the item for personal use or if he’s looking to move it on, but the latter option would be fairly lucrative as Moby goes for a cool £1,000 retail. Whoa.

The most amazing part of course isn’t that this man stole a 3 foot tall dildo, it’s the Ocean’s 11 style cool factor with which he pulled it off. Obviously having a face mask on at a time where everyone else on the planet is wearing one is a great way to not arouse any suspicion, and to be fair this is Las Vegas we’re talking about so there’s a good chance he wasn’t the only person walking around with a giant dildo draped over his shoulder either. It’s the perfect crime!
I don’t know what other leads the police could possibly work with here but I reckon keep an eye on the local hospitals because there’s no doubt that thing can do some serious damage. It’s just a matter of whether this cockyburglar’s curiosity gets the better of him.


Police Are Hunting A Man Who Stole A 3 Foot, 40 Lbs Dildo From A Sex Shop (kaoticarchive.blogspot.com)

Why would the value be lires? Don't they use US dollars in Vegas?

 

[Hornet]

Why would the value be lires? Don't they use US dollars in Vegas?

That’s the currency symbol for British Pounds. It’s a UK article.

 

[snoopdoggie]

That’s the currency symbol for British Pounds. It’s a UK article.

Oh I get it. I'll get around to reading the article a bit later. Thanks.

 

[Dongo]

He should be easy to find.... just look for a guy hanging out around town with a 25 foot girlfriend.

 

[luvdafurburger]

Anyone have his contact info?

I want to rent it off him so I can carry it around the CNE next year. People will think I won it.

 

[OG_funguy]

In other news, a Toronto man named Ursus is finally able to pleasure his Chinese wife...

 

[Back in Toronto]

Just look for the biggest arseholes and closet faggots, so look in Washington DC and tel aviv. Politicians and jews - the worst of criminals. Plus a couple of closet faggots on this board, kl fungus, jaime (girl's name) wolf, luvafatboner and the other chosen closet jew. #BDS

 

[luvdafurburger]

Just look for the biggest arseholes and closet faggots, so look in Washington DC and tel aviv. Politicians and jews - the worst of criminals. Plus a couple of closet faggots on this board, kl fungus, jaime (girl's name) wolf, luvafatboner and the other chosen closet jew. #BDS

Can you please be clear. Am I am closet faggot or a closet Jew faggot? Does one outrank the other?
Love the take on the names. Very creative. I thought Fatboner and Fungus were the same?

Question for you Bud:
If one of your daughters comes home with a Jewish dude as a BF whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna say then?
How about your Ex is banging her Jewish lawyer who just had your wages garnished?
How about if the hottest MPA after she reams your ass just the way you've been seeking on here like your holy fucking grail, and then she casually tells you she is Jewish. Now what? She's had that bagel encrusted finger up your ass!
I probably would lay off the calling people faggots if I were you. Sounds like you are the one with the most faggotish tenancies.