Is Santa Claus Real?

[geeksball]

A most prestigious scientific journal publishes:

Is Santa Claus Real?

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 1 in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop our of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh an move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purpose of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75« million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding, etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 time the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, the conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting the "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload -not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons.

5) 353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrmpt re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create dempening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force. In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

Merry Christmas!

 

[phoenix]

You forgot to take into consideration that the possibilities of time travel!

In recent researches it has been proven that a worm hole could exist! If Santa Clause is Reviewom the far future it is possible that scientist have found the proper energy source to be able to capture a worm hole and use it to target the proper time they need to reach to get the gifts in time for Christmas morning.

Also it is assumed that if you travel around the world fast enough at a speed that is faster than the speed of light, you could potentially end up going back in time. As the relative motion that is experience inside the vessel you are traveling in, you would only feel time as we know it. But on the outside of that vessel, years could be gained or passed as it sees time as a fourth dimension.

So it Santa is using a method to travel through time, he could potentially knock off a dozen houses travel back to get more gifts and repeat this over and over again making it look like he only does it in one night, but in reality it is a full time job that last all year long.

As for the reindeer, you said it best, He is the only one that has seen them, he could be giving us a little bit of bull shit and is actually driving a hummer around.

If you think time travel is bullshit, google "Charlie Chaplin and woman on cell phone"

mpter you have googled that, remember that all I just said is a crock of shit and I had nothing else better to do!
Apex

 

[aliceperez77]

What if the reindeer had some kind of jet propulsion. ex. go to you tube look up bud light then find horse fart. This may help explain .

 

[Das Boot]

you know what - Santa is magical and there are some things that cannot be explained. Let's just leave it at that.

 

[insider]

Thanks for all the followups. Pls keep in mind, it is only a JOKE, though it looks in a SERIOUS manner!

Anyway, Merry Christmas!