Christmas gift for massage therapist - what is appropriate

[arielle_ya]

OK. Here is the deal. I go once a week to a chiropractor/massage therapist. I pretty much see the same massage therapist every week. My insurance only covers a 1/2 hour, but because I am the last person she often goes for 40 minutes to an hour, giving me free extra time. Part of it is because she just tends to talk a lot and loses track of time. Either way, she does do a great job and I am very appreciative.

Here's the thing. I'm 33, she's probably 37 or 38. I want to give her something for Christmas to show my appreciation, but I DON'T want it to seem inappropriate. Both of us are happily married. I was thinking maybe get her a $50 gift certificate so she can take her husband out to a nice dinner? Or I could just give her $50 cash and tell her to take her husband out for dinner? It's tough, because on the one hand, I feel guilty not getting her some type of token of appreciation for all the extra time she gives me - but at the same time, I don't want anything to be viewed as inappropriate. I probably will get the chiropractor a small gift as well.

Thoughts? What do any of you get for your massage therapist for the holidays?

 

[Timmy the Dog]

I think it is great you want to give your therapist a token of your appreciation.
My 2 cents are that I think both of your ideas are appropriate, and I'm sure she would be thrilled.

Since looking inappropriate is a concern, why don't you include the gift certificate/cash in a nice holiday card with a note telling of your appreciation of her time and skills, and both you and your wife sign the card?

Noel

 

[Tambel]

My wife has never had a massage - nor has she been to the massage therapy office. While I am there 100% for therapeutic purposes only, I am afraid to say too much about it to her because let's face it - I am alone in a room with a female therapist not much older than me. Although my wife knows I go, I am afraid the whole notion of it might make her umcomfortable the more she finds out about it, not that anything bad goes on at all. Just kind of a natural reaction. Perhaps if I can get my wife to get a massage, she will change.

My point is, I probably wouldn't have her sign the card. I think I will just give the therapist a card thanking her for her time, skill, etc...and $50 to take her husband out to eat....or at least suggest it.

 

[Pritzooo:D]

My wife has never had a massage - nor has she been to the massage therapy office. While I am there 100% for therapeutic purposes only, I am afraid to say too much about it to her because let's face it - I am alone in a room with a female therapist not much older than me. Although my wife knows I go, I am afraid the whole notion of it might make her umcomfortable the more she finds out about it, not that anything bad goes on at all. Just kind of a natural reaction. Perhaps if I can get my wife to get a massage, she will change.

My point is, I probably wouldn't have her sign the card. I think I will just give the therapist a card thanking her for her time, skill, etc...and $50 to take her husband out to eat....or at least suggest it.

I would suggest getting your wife a massage for a gift and let her try your therapist out (or any therapist for that matter).
You shouldn't feel that you need to be embarassed about getting a massage. The more people who are educated on what professional massage is the better.

I have received gifts like this. Money in a card, candy, extra tip for that visit, ect. I am sure that your gift will be appropriate and well received by the therapist.

 

[bunkyriver]

My wife has never had a massage - nor has she been to the massage therapy office. While I am there 100% for therapeutic purposes only, I am afraid to say too much about it to her because let's face it - I am alone in a room with a female therapist not much older than me. Although my wife knows I go, I am afraid the whole notion of it might make her umcomfortable the more she finds out about it, not that anything bad goes on at all. Just kind of a natural reaction. Perhaps if I can get my wife to get a massage, she will change.

My point is, I probably wouldn't have her sign the card. I think I will just give the therapist a card thanking her for her time, skill, etc...and $50 to take her husband out to eat....or at least suggest it.

Ace, I've a great idea. You state your wife has never had a massage and in your above statements you suppose all manner of ill thoughts on her behalf in regards to your getting a massage. Why not solve this problem and give your wife a gift certificate so she can also experience the wonderful benefits of massage therapy and meet this nice massage therapist who consistently goes out of her way to work extra on you? It is an incredibly nice gift to give to both your wife and massage therapist.

If you are planning on giving your massage therapist a gift, I would suggest a GC to a specific restaurant if that is how you wish her to use this money or give her cash without any strings attached to how she chooses to use it. I agree that giving it to her in a holiday card with brief yet sincerest thanks for the work she does would be sufficient to avoid any inappropriateness.

Additionally, I feel it is necessary to tell you that personally I find your statements above quite disturbing. As a clinical massage therapist of 13+ years it is exactly what you stated that helps perpetuate the stigma of sex that is associated with my profession. From reading your words it is almost as if you would prefer your wife think these thoughts about your getting a massage rather than involve her and communicate what is really happening. It has been my experience that clients who truly want their spouses to understand the therapeutic benefit of massage bring their spouses in for a session to meet me which dispels other ideas from brewing unnecessarily.

Just my two cents.

 

[ubernerd122]

My wife has never had a massage - nor has she been to the massage therapy office. While I am there 100% for therapeutic purposes only, I am afraid to say too much about it to her because let's face it - I am alone in a room with a female therapist not much older than me. Although my wife knows I go, I am afraid the whole notion of it might make her umcomfortable the more she finds out about it, not that anything bad goes on at all. Just kind of a natural reaction. Perhaps if I can get my wife to get a massage, she will change.

My point is, I probably wouldn't have her sign the card. I think I will just give the therapist a card thanking her for her time, skill, etc...and $50 to take her husband out to eat....or at least suggest it.

Ace, I've a great idea. You state your wife has never had a massage and in your above statements you suppose all manner of ill thoughts on her behalf in regards to your getting a massage. Why not solve this problem and give your wife a gift certificate so she can also experience the wonderful benefits of massage therapy and meet this nice massage therapist who consistently goes out of her way to work extra on you? It is an incredibly nice gift to give to both your wife and massage therapist.

If you are planning on giving your massage therapist a gift, I would suggest a GC to a specific restaurant if that is how you wish her to use this money or give her cash without any strings attached to how she chooses to use it. I agree that giving it to her in a holiday card with brief yet sincerest thanks for the work she does would be sufficient to avoid any inappropriateness.

Additionally, I feel it is necessary to tell you that personally I find your statements above quite disturbing. As a clinical massage therapist of 13+ years it is exactly what you stated that helps perpetuate the stigma of sex that is associated with my profession. From reading your words it is almost as if you would prefer your wife think these thoughts about your getting a massage rather than involve her and communicate what is really happening. It has been my experience that clients who truly want their spouses to understand the therapeutic benefit of massage bring their spouses in for a session to meet me which dispels other ideas from brewing unnecessarily.

Just my two cents.

I am sorry you find my comments disturbing. Coming from a religious background, I long had a stigma about massage. However, for medical reasons, I was almost forced into it, and now I enjoy it. However, my wife isn't real comfortable with some of her excess weight since giving birth, and I think that might hold her back from getting a massage. It has to do with her comfort level. As for prefering my wife to think these thoughts.....absolutely not. Right now, I don't think she thinks of it as more than a trip to the doctor's office. But I don't like to get into detail about the therapist or anything else...I think the best way for her to see what it is like is to go herself, you are probably right.

I will say this though. Go into any search engine and type in massage, and look how many sleezy massage ads come up! No wonder those involved in therapeutic massage get a bad rap, even though they have nothing to do with erotic massage or prostitution or anything like that. It's not your fault, but I understand where people get the stigma from.

 

[zendall]

I am sorry you find my comments disturbing. Coming from a religious background, I long had a stigma about massage. However, for medical reasons, I was almost forced into it, and now I enjoy it. However, my wife isn't real comfortable with some of her excess weight since giving birth, and I think that might hold her back from getting a massage. It has to do with her comfort level. As for prefering my wife to think these thoughts.....absolutely not. Right now, I don't think she thinks of it as more than a trip to the doctor's office. But I don't like to get into detail about the therapist or anything else...I think the best way for her to see what it is like is to go herself, you are probably right.

I will say this though. Go into any search engine and type in massage, and look how many sleezy massage ads come up! No wonder those involved in therapeutic massage get a bad rap, even though they have nothing to do with erotic massage or prostitution or anything like that. It's not your fault, but I understand where people get the stigma from.

It is wonderful that you were able to get to a place where you understand massage and what great things it can do for you.
I am sure I speak for most by saying, we notice the ads promoting massage as something sexual - and it drives most of us crazy.
Because some people still see massage as a bad thing, it is so important for people like yourself to spread the word and open others eyes to it's benefits. Maybe someday the stigma will be gone.

We see bodies of all shape, sizes and conditions - your wife should feel at ease with knowing that a therapist should not judge her.
Most of us have our own body image issues that we deal with as well, so we can relate.

I am sure that if you are comfortable with your therapist then your wife most likely would be too. Getting on the table is the toughest part : - once the massage starts most people are at ease.

 

[EnWi]

ace,

I can understand you are not wanting to stir something up in your household... but the wife having extra pounds since the baby and not knowing much about massage... I have to agree with Intuitouch.... it would be a wonderful idea to purchase a gift certificate for her!

Even though you know she is self concious.... I am betting it would be just wonderful in her eyes. You could get appointments at the same time.

Also.... sure there are tons of bad therapists out there who do questionable things. More the reason to get your wife on board... so you aren't "simi-hiding" the trip on a regular basis.

Thanks for coming here to ask. We're glad you like us!

Get that wifey a GC.... and if for some reason that is not appropriate... then how about buy your MT a GC for massage warehouse, amazon, or some other place like that.

 

[Dawg Man]

Texas gal and others,

I think I convinced wife to have a massage. Probably can't do it at the same time because of our 2 year old, but I could drop her off, introduce her, take our 2 year old somewhere for 1/2 hour, and then come back and pick her up.

I TOTALLY understand your frustration with those who classify themselves with massage but are all into sexual stuff. As a guy, it frustrates me to no end when I go to a female therapist the first time and they look very distrustfully at me, very suspicious. I am just there to get a simple therapeutic massage, nothing more. It's almost like I feel like I have to prove I am a trustworthy client. I've seen websites just when doing searches of massage therapist where they (male massage therapists mostly) have pictures of themselves on their site either showing off their muscles or actually naked or near naked. That really helps the massage therapy industry. I wasn't even looking for this stuff!

 

[jeffinerg123]

As a guy, it frustrates me to no end when I go to a female therapist the first time and they look very distrustfully at me, very suspicious. I am just there to get a simple therapeutic massage, nothing more. It's almost like I feel like I have to prove I am a trustworthy client.

my suggestion is that when you call for your massage appointment, be direct and use the correct terms. you can certainly say, "i'm strictly looking for a professional therapeutic massage."

 

[Codys mom]

As a guy, it frustrates me to no end when I go to a female therapist the first time and they look very distrustfully at me, very suspicious. I am just there to get a simple therapeutic massage, nothing more. It's almost like I feel like I have to prove I am a trustworthy client.

my suggestion is that when you call for your massage appointment, be direct and use the correct terms. you can certainly say, "i'm strictly looking for a professional therapeutic massage."

Very good point mush. I was emailing a therapist recently and came right out and said "I am an ethical client and understand that massage in therapeutic only." Hopefully that sort of direct approach works, but I like what you said even better.

 

[bushisajerk]

I just saw that Austin Powers movie, so Ithink an appropriate gift would be: (Use the appropriate voice, please...)


One Million Dollars!

 

[cbvnd368796]

I like getting gift cards... to department stores or Target, preferably...

 

[Pompal 09.]

reikicara~
That sounds really good i love thir selection of music for my massage room at target...that is something that can benefit me and the client!

~Jennifer McColleyLMT

 

[syco2236]

I am going to give my massage therapist $40 cash and perhaps suggest in the card that maybe she can take her husband out for a nice dinner and movie (if she wants to.) Other than that, basic stuff about thanks for your time, skill, hard work, etc...

As far as the chiropractor, I am getting him a $25 gift certificate to a restaurant he likes.

I do feel a little bad getting the MT more than the chiropractor, but let's face it, I see the MT for 1/2 hour a week and the chiro for about 5-10 minutes....MT has to do more work.

 

[rona f]

"However, my wife isn't real comfortable with some of her excess weight since giving birth, and I think that might hold her back from getting a massage. It has to do with her comfort level."

I know you've posted to say that your wife has agreed to get a massage but I wanted to make a quick comment on people who are uncomfortable getting a first massage because of weight/body issues. I have dealt with this many times as a therapist and always offer to do just a head, hands and feet massage with the client fully clothed. This is a very non-threatening introduction to massage and more often than not that person will book another session that will be "full body." Just a thought for anyone else reading this.

 

[lozzielaws]

Maybe you should have set your wife up for a chair massage...it is fully clothed...and may just be enough of a tease for her to want a full body...besides we are not looking at their bodies, wel just want to help them heal and relax...maybe it is just what she needs.

~Jennifer McColleyLMT

 

[Yacajoo]

Maybe you should have set your wife up for a chair massage...it is fully clothed...and may just be enough of a tease for her to want a full body...besides we are not looking at their bodies, wel just want to help them heal and relax...maybe it is just what she needs.

~Jennifer McColleyLMT

I think I really, really need to lure my wife into a massage, and maybe starting with less of one like you say is the way to go. I think it will make her feel more confident, less inhibited, and it will most of all help her relax and not worry so much about what she looks like. I think it would be really good for her overall mindset. I was nervous as heck my first massage...now it is a piece of cake and I am hooked.

 

[Kirby]

buy your wife a gc for a house call massage with a female therapist. your wife will appreciate the privacy of her own home with a female therapist which is less threatening than a male mt when it comes to body image issues (post-baby).
better yet, buy both of you house call massages~ maybe your regular MT can bring a colleague. now you can enjoy your massages together

 

[SURFER BOY]

As an update to anyone who cares: I got both the chiropractor and the massage therapist a card and wrote about their time, skill, and energy and how I appreciated it. I got the chiropractor a gift certificate to a restaurant he goes to a lot, and I got the massage therapist a gift certificate to the mall near her house, each for $30. So hopefully, this was a good choice, but getting a gift certificate I thought at least showed some effort as opposed to cash. I will give the cards to them on Monday, so I will let you know how they react.